Warren, Rogers, and Lies

“Everest has nothing on Warren and Rogers. I will not risk it.” – George Mallory

They say you earn no greater respect as a mountaineer than when you climb these peaks and live to tell the tale. This is our story. [insert Law and Order dun dun sound effect here]

It was July 4^th, 2024. I awaited Megan's arrival for she was my golden ticket for passage onto Mt. Blue Sky, the mountain standing between us and our dreams. Considering it was America’s 248^th birthday, I dressed for the occasion but fully understanding that my wardrobe choice could be the death of be depending on how harsh the conditions would turn out to be. I figured if I were to die, it would be in my country's honor, in style, as an American, on the most treacherous peak in the world.

Megan arrived, but she leapt out of the vehicle and was gone in a flash, likely rethinking her choices, her nerves getting to her in anticipation of a brutal day. Or, it was possible she needed to use the bathroom. I may never know. Eventually, she returned, and neither of us spoke of it. (lie #1)

The sun rose as we wound our way up the oft-questionable road, and soon we made it to the start of our climb where, once again, Megan leapt out of the vehicle and was gone in a flash. Her nerves again?! or is she just a vault toilet enthusiast? Once again, upon her return, neither of us spoke of it. (lie #2)

Mt. Warren loomed in front of us. We braced ourselves for a hardship unlike any other. We dodged rocks, angry mountain goats, and endured 75mph winds as we trudged through six feet of snow. (lie #3)

We often looked back, longingly, from whence we came, yearning for warmth and shelter, questioning our life decisions. But we were committed now; there was no turning back.

It was the most harsh and treacherous 443 feet of elevation gain I have encountered in my mountaineering career. It occurred to me Mallory may have been the wise one.

On the summit of Warren, we encountered confusion about where the true summit is, so we touched several spots and tempted fate on cliffs and boulders just to ensure there would be no question of our accomplishment. It was clear to us we were never to return.

Alas, we looked over toward Rogers and knew things were about to get far, far worse. An unexpected challenge was also our direction of travel in relation to the sun. We had never had such a difficult time seeing the way ahead. With one of our major senses compromised, we could only hope we would make no critical errors.

Ahh, but critical errors we would make. We got separated on the ascent to Rogers. I dove behind a boulder that blocked enough of the sun that I could see Megan in the distance traveling around the side of the mountain. The great chasm between my location and hers would prevent me from following. (lie #4) I could only hope that we would meet again. Godspeed, Megan. Godspeed.

I clamored upward over massive boulders that threatened to give way all the while being battered and bruised by brutal wind, snow, and tribbles everywhere.

I endured the class 3 terrain still worried that Megan might be lost forever.

But then much to my relief, as I came out of the boulders, there she was below me! “Megan! You’re alive!!” I yelled down to her, my eyes filling with tears. She looked up at me; I could see the terror in her eyes. (lie #5) In a normal, non-yelling voice, she said, “Why are you being so dramatic?” It was then that I knew the lack of oxygen was impairing her sense of reality of our situation.

We gained the summit of Rogers Peak feeling elated to have survived the brutality of the prior 417 feet of elevation gain.

To further ensure my place in history, I took a chance that the summit block, towering over a 1,000-foot drop, would hold. I gracefully (lie #6) climbed up and rode it as if it were a mighty steed! Oh, how I wished it was, that it could just whisk me off this goshforsaken peak!

Descent was in order. We took a regrettable alternate route and somehow made it over the bergschrund, around the gendarme, under the serac, and endured the harrowing multi-pitch downclimb. And wouldn’t you know it, we landed in a beautiful, gentle meadow of wild flowers! We hugged and rejoiced as the vehicle – and the bathroom – came into view. O, happy day!

Since then, any peak I climb seems like child’s play. Proceed with caution, fellow climbers. Proceed with caution.

Less Dramatic Version

Pull into the Summit Lake lot and look in the direction exactly opposite of Mt. Blue Sky’s summit. You'll see a rocky protrusion and think, “That’s it? Can't be.” Yes, that’s Warren. Head that way. Get to the top. Wonder what counts as true summit. Look over at Rogers; it’s the little peak nearby that looks, well, like a peak. Go over to that. Stay farther left for class 3, or farther right for class 2. Get to the summit. Dominate the summit block if you so choose. Descend the same way and regain about 191 feet on Warren until you're above/past the really rocky side of it that's below you. Then you'll be able to just hit the nice tundra and side-hill it all the way back. The end.

Stats

Total mileage: 3.86 miles
Total elevation gain: 1,050 feet

If you made it here to the end, I'm sorry for whatever time in your life you just wasted reading this; however, in my defense, that was your choice. Haha! Happy 13ering!