So this is what it feels like

Maybe the journey isn't about becoming anything. It's about becoming everything.

No matter how far you came, you can always go further.

The summer of 2013 Joe from Chicago put on his Invisibility cloak and appeared at the ROA trailhead to climb Coors mountain. Wilson Peak is one of the top 3 iconic Colorado classics. Naïve to the sorcery craft and all things related to climbing I rolled in at midnight after a long drive from work. 0500 I hear commotion and conversation as a party of 3 start their climb then wonder if I can catch them on the trail. Try as I may I didn't see them until they downclimbed the gash and ledges section. They continued past me and Joe stopped to ask if I was the one that showed up at midnight. Blinded by his neon yellow T-shirt that said, "Sun's Out, Gun's Out," and joked that it was as bright as my obnoxious cel phone case. We're even I thought. We bantered on long enough that I was worried he wouldn't be able catch back up with his little brothers. He laughed and said they weren't his brothers, just two young guys he met that morning at the trail head and after chatting with their nervous dad decided he would keep an eye on them. Then he asked what my plan was and I said, "well, I'm going to summit Wilson and then head over and do the traverse." He asked, "can I join you, I'll wait here?" Snarkily I said, "sure, if you can keep up." He gave me a wry smile and ensured me it would be fun. I put on the after burner and cruised to the summit. Together we descended ROA and getting to know each other found out we were working on the same finishing peaks. Feeling boastful about climbing Snowmass and Capitol solo the weekend prior I suggested starting on the north face of El Diente. As hard as I pushed to shake him, he was always nipping at my heels, never sweating and always smiling. Threading through the boulders there was one obstacle that stymied me. Joe without hesitation figured out the boulder problem and offered me a hand. Truth be told, I was scared out of my mind. This would be one of the many puzzles we would figure out up, along and down the infamous great loose traverse. Gloating about our success on the way back to ROA rockfall careened out of control down the slope towards us. Joe heard it, pushed me out of the way and jumped over the rocks. Unscathed, I looked up at him speechless. He smiled and asked, "what's next?"

Fast forward 10 years.

When I met Joe in 2013 I was as scared then as I am now. Living your dream is hard through it all. I've tried being tough. Unflappable. I’m not always fine or strong or fearless. There’s bravery in admitting that It’s okay to not be okay. I’m often terrified. There’s strength in admitting that I’m often terrified and just being myself. Living your dream is hard but it’s worth it. We’re only here for a little while and it can be so beautiful. Joe comes out to Colorado every summer to climb mountains and I'm honored that he wants to climb them with me. I have over 500 pictures in my Google photos folder of him and our adventures. This is a story about the highlights and finisher.

2013 Drugified

Intoxicated by success after the Wilson's we climbed 3 of the 4 great traverses together that summer. I lied when Joe asked if I'd ever been camping before when I shouldered my obnoxious backpack I named Godzilla as we headed to Chicago Basin from Purgatory. Lightly seasoned I'd learned a little from that trip when we camped again at Como for the Blanca group and ate a MRE I found. Now I know what 8 year old peanut butter tastes like. We day tripped the Bells and for our final traverse we decided to camp at Colony Lakes for the Crestones. My long time bike racing friend Jill came out from Boise to join as this would also be her finisher. Joe's friend Tom and my husband Marc also joined in anticipated celebration. It rained hard all night and never stopped. We decided to get ice cream in Westcliffe the next morning instead. It was a bummer for everyone to make a big effort and come up empty handed. "Next year", Joe said with a smile.

2014 "I hate snow"

When Joe left I kept climbing, finished the 14ers and started working on the Centennials. I fell into the trap of checklists. Sure, everyone should climb a mountain for their own reasons but being obsessed with a list is satisfying for the OCD aficionado. My first time on crampons in May 2014 up Ice Mountain a new addiction was born. Snow folly or foe always tells which way to go. I love snow. When Joe came back, his first time on crampons was up Fletcher to Drift and he confessed, "I hate snow." The traverse was a blast but as we descend Drift I heard his ax humming and asked him why. Lightning! No one got zapped and we watched the World Cup in Leadville. Joe finished the Crestones sans traverse and we finished the Tenmile Centennials this year.

2015 Always remember that you're unique just like everyone else.

With my concealed carry map I had an idea. We could connect Half to Quarter Peaks one day and then shuttle cars the next, leave one at Silver Creek and drive to Williams to get the Points by Red Cloud and Sunshine. Joe always has good music. 2013 it was Capital Cities, 2014 Tove Lo and this year it was Major Lazer. We jammed to music up and down Lake City got the Points and ate pizza at Poker Alice. Sadly, no longer in business. A couple days later Joe went up Cuba Gulch for the Niagara group and on his drive back a big ol rock tumbled down the hillside, landed in the middle of the jeep road and blocked his way out. He called for help and the sheriff organized a crew to move the boulder. ICYMI It's now named "Joe's Boulder".

2016 You don’t get what you deserve. You just get what you get.

When I say the next 4 words everyone should run. "I have an idea."

This year we were both at the top of our games and I concocted a plan to climb every centennial in the Weminuche because I had already climbed them but we would do my route in reverse. I told Joe the plan and he told Tom who said, "she's crazy". Duh. We'll go down Molas and into Vestal basin, camp and get ready for Wham. Climb up and over the Kodiak trail, pass Balsam Lake and camp by Peak Six for Jagged. Climb Jagged and hike into Ruby basin for Pigeon and Turret. Hike over Twin Thumbs and down into CB for Jupiter then hike out and catch the train. It worked, it was awesome and to this day it is one of the best back packing climbing trips we've ever had. We didn't have train tickets but we had cash and when the train finally docked in Durango Tom and I found a hotel nearby that had 3 queen beds. Perfect!

2017 Knowledge comes through suffering.

One doesn’t expect to get from life what I have learned it can’t give and began to see that life is just sowing time and the harvest isn’t here yet. We all have demons but never stop searching for angels. When you find beauty you find inspiration. Stay determined and never stop no matter how many failures because when doing what you're meant to do, you have to keep going. Keep moving. I was ran over by a car while riding my bike home from work November 2016. I had to learn how to walk, ride, climb and comprehend all over again. It felt like someone took me apart and put all the pieces back in the wrong order. With Marc by my side I slowly came back. The day I led us up Owl Rock in Arches on our anniversary almost a year after my accident boosted my confidence. The summer of 2017 I was strong enough to lead the 3 of us up Dallas Peak. Joe and I also climbed Thunder Pyramid that summer of pain. That year Joe also did his first sport lead at Clay Creek Clad in Telluride. Say that fast 10 times. What I remember most this year is climbing the hardest centennial with two of my favorite and most trusted humans on the planet. I am forever grateful.

2018-2021 Friends for life. Thus is life. Slow and sudden miracles. These three years were about spending quality time with friends, climbing hard mountains and learning why we spend so much effort to only enjoy the summit for a few minutes. It is performance art; just like a song you enjoy. So grab the band and get up stellar mountains like Teakettle, Cathedral, Grizzly A and also put them on a rope and drag them up The Nose on Monitor Rock on Independence Pass. You'll remember this for the rest of your life. I met and climbed with Tom's BFF Greg and Joe's BFF Tyler these years. Tyler is a bulldozer and Greg is a R2R2R finisher for his 60th birthday last year. Hearing their stories, spending time getting to know them and shouting, "It's not a beer without a cheer" while laughing and passing wind in the night together you'll fully appreciate the "F" factor.

2022 Snacksident

Joe lost his invisibility cloak while getting his hands stuck in between the 2x4's on the new deck he built in his backyard digging for the gummy bear his son Abe dropped and didn't make it out last year while I was on overdrive obsessed with climbing the LA Freeway.

The next picture is to remind Joe to never forget.

2023 The reward for life is play and good health.

Time left in life. What will we do with it? This year is our 10 year anniversary. Joe and I are the same. Obsessed, competitive, eager, strong and idyllic. I can mention an idea and see his gears turning knowing we're on the same page. We're both always scheming and dreaming. A couple phone calls and texts then voila he's back. The entire crew joined for Hagerman and I picked the SW ridge because I've already climbed the standard south face in summer and also the SW ridge in winter so how bad could it be in summer with 5 people on route? Greg hooked us up a schwanky camp site in Marble with WiFi and showers! Greg's cousin Keith would climb with me, Joe, Tom and Tyler to celebrate with Joe on his finisher Hagerman. Although Arrow and Trinity are new additions to the list, finishing the original list with friends is what mattered most this year. This is what I told Joe. Open topography LiDAR like radar or sonar but instead of using radio waves LiDAR uses beams of laser light to illuminate points on the ground over 100 times per second, elevations are measured using the speed of light to calculate the distance traveled, creating what is called a LiDAR point cloud that can be put into GIS software to convert to an elevation grid spreadsheet where each cell represents an elevation value and GPS coordinate. Someday we may discover this is all b.s. but in the meantime the demoted peaks still count but for now so do the promoted peaks. This means you should also climb Arrow and Middle Trinity in addition to Hagerman.

I was the last to arrive at camp Friday night the 28th and Joe was the first to greet me. Seeing him for the first time in two years felt like nothing changed. The same big blue eyes, bright smile and happy face. Getting big hugs from Tyler, Tom and Greg, meeting his family while being introduced to Keith felt good. We caught up, packed bags, ate and drank around the campfire. 0400 on Saturday Tom took Tyler and me up to Geneva Lake in his Jeep and Joe jumped on the back of Keith's 4-wheeler. We motored up to the lake, killed 300 mosquitoes and scratched up the approach gully. The rock quality improves the further you climb along the ridge. The final 200 feet are pretty bad. Spread out, wear a helmet.

Claim to fame. Joe's big claim is that not only is he an original centennial finisher, he has also never shared any of the summits with strangers, only friends. Here he is waiting for the team as he does his Zoolander pose and says, “I’m pretty sure there’s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking.”

That night we dined at the Marble BBQ restaurant and celebrated Joe finishing his centennial list with everyone that had ever joined along his ten year journey.

After a nice hot shower at the campground I checked weather and the monsoon decided to show up with heavy rain predicted in the San Juan's. Big fat bummer. I'm an idea woman and started making plans A-C to bounce off of the team. The best weather was in the Sangre de Cristos so plan A was to backpack into Cottonwood Creek for Pico Aislado and also Joe could finally do the Crestone traverse. Kill a bird with two stones. I get another bicentennial and Joe gets to repeat peaks because repeats are a treat. Also Tyler would get to climb the amazing Crestones. Truth is this evil plan was to get Joe hooked on bicentennials so he keeps coming back to Colorado every summer. Heeee heeeeee...

We packed, Keith and his dad made us breakfast sandwiches with the most perfectly cooked bacon I've ever had and then drove all the way to the cult like town of Crestone. On the drive out Joe texted that the weather looked really bad. I typed back to stop checking NWS because you'll never climb mountains again and that I checked all my reliable weather sources and the radar. It all looked good. The radar was heavy on the Westcliffe side and moving NE and also no lightning strikes on the west side of the range. On the hike up Cottonwood I preached on about the 3 things needed to cause a thunderstorm and the clouds overhead didn't have one key variable; instability. We made it 3 miles while the thunder rolled. Then it spittled. Then light rain. We put on rain gear and then it dumped. I told Joe we have two options; set up camp or head back. One look at his face and I knew we were going back to the cars. It rained so hard that the trail turned into a river and then hail and sleet made babies. Heavy graupel pummeled us and even with rain gear on we all got soaked. "You can learn a lot about someone by the way they behave in three situations: a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights,” says Maya Angelou.

Sitting at the Crestone brewery dumbfounded as to why all my weather sources failed whilst clouds reversed course, jumped over the range backwards and annilhilated us I came up with plan C. Get the hell away from this creepy town and drive to the Valley View Hot Springs area for Cottonwood and Electric Peaks. Just like 2013 the rain giveth and taketh away. Mother Nature rules. The weather on the northern Sangres was predicted to be good until 3pm from all weather sources even NWS. We decided on a 0500 start time. Tyler had some nasty blisters and decided to stay behind. Joe and I didn't mess around July 31st and marveled at the Major Creek trail. This is by far one of the best trails I've ever been on in the Sangres, minus the mountain lion scat. The weather held just as promised and we could see the southern portion of the range in clouds while the sunshine beamed on us.

On Cottonwood I wanted to celebrate with just me and Joe for his accomplishment so I brought him a juice box. With cel coverage and Marc at home we could tag team this effort.

Although loops are fun and we had a near perfect day, for future trekkers I'd recommend to head back down the Cottonwood/Thirsty saddle to Garner Creek trail that you can see from the summit. The Hot Springs Canyon trail is hard to navigate because of deadfall and marsh. Also there is a lot of fresh bear scat and snapped tree branches from bear traffic.

https://www.hikingproject.com/photo/7088780/deadfall#Comment-124702295

After our hike Tyler who dipped his blistered toes in the Sand Dunes picked us up at the Hot Springs trail and we drove to Salida for Amica's pizza, which is amazing. Then homemade ice cream at Here's the Scoop where I had spicy honey on top of my sundae. Yummy! Go to these places. You'll be happy.

Tom offered us to stay at his house in Westcliffe that night. The next day he and his wife Taurin hosted a youth camp day trip for the local kids to get outside, hike and learn about the outdoors. They asked if the 3 of us wanted to join and help. Absolutely! They do this often and I found a nice article about them here:

https://www.trailsforall.co/journey-notes-blog/seeking-surprises-tom-taurin-dimler

Nearby is Bishop Castle so, why not? The only thing I can say about this place is in the following haiku:

I am so tired

Where did all my money go

My back really hurts

Joe and Tyler had one more day to spend in Colorado before life would swoop them back into reality. Looking at all options the best plan was Bull Hill with rain predicted at noon. That night we drove to our usual camp spot near Twin Lakes, killed 400 mosquitos, started a bonfire with an entire roll of toilet paper and joked that this would've costed $800 during Covid. Joe also informed that this would be Tyler's first repeat and the first time Joe has climbed something before I did therefore he would be the guide. I slept well. On the last day of their trip we summited Bull Hill, spotted a frigid fledgling bird in the rocks near the summit, solved the mining equipment puzzle, added another bicentennial to the list, ate more pizza at Mountain High in Leadville under the umbrellas while it rained on the Massive massif, bought gifts for our S.O.'s at the trinket shops and got coffee at City on a Hill for their long drive home.

Not much was said when it was time to bid adieu. Relationships make you soft however, if you want to go fast go solo. If you want to go far, bring someone. I would have quit climbing mountains had I not met Joe and every day I am thankful that our paths organically crossed. The adventures we've had, things we've seen and learned together while walking far and fast uphill with long periods of boredom followed by brief periods of terror our thoughts come clearly and the journey feels real and earned. We've owned this. To accept this is to accept the freedom of our own place in our own time, unique and peculiar in itself. Some of my favorite Colorado climbs have been with Joe and we still have a lot of mountains to climb.

Congratulations Joe Jaroz for completing your list! Thank you for being a good friend and climbing partner and introducing me to good people like Tom, Taurin, Greg, Roy, Keith and Tyler. For good food, good beer, good laughs and memories I will treasure forever.

Our true nature is forever undefined. The body changes all the time. There is nothing that is permanent or stable and that's freedom.