Longs Peak Trip Report 06/20/2014

Report Type	Full
Peak(s)	Longs Peak - 14,259 feet
Date Posted	06/20/2014
Date Climbed	06/19/2014
Author	akoller

A Song of Ice and Snow
I've been having a recurring dream about a three-eyed marmot. The marmot leads me through a rocky passage, then it turns around and grunts at me. I knew this dream could only mean one thing. I must journey north of the wall and find the three-eyed marmot. Somehow it holds the key to defeating the whitewalkers. What are whitewalkers, and what is the wall, you ask? Whitewalkers are the most terrifying beasts known to the realm. They reside north of the wall, reborn from a cold death. They cannot be killed except by fire. You can read this chilling tale in their lifeless, blue eyes. They also climb wicked good (see 14ers.com on Facebook). Whitewalkers. Photo credit: the internet. Only a wall 14,255 feet high protects us from the whitewalkers to the north. This wall, a mostly impenetrable fortress of rock, snow, and ice, still has a few weaknesses which must be guarded by the men of the night's watch. The men of the night's watch are the castaways, criminals, and bastards of the realm who swore an oath to guard the wall, rather than rot in prisons to the south. You can find these men of the night's watch, mostly on weekends in July and August. They typically wear sneakers, cotton clothes, and carry about 1L of water. They usually look very tired. The wall. On this night I was not visited by the three-eyed marmot in my dreams. Instead I lay awake, unable to sleep. I knew I must venture north of the wall, and it could not wait. I left Boulderfell and rode north until my horse could ride no more. (Actually, there is a horse trail, but whatever.) Alone, I set off into the night. It began to snow, and a cold wind blew through the trees. This could only mean one thing. You know it, and I know it. Winter is coming. The previous times I have scaled the wall, I managed to get a few hours of sleep beforehand. This time, the complete lack of sleep was taking its toll. I had the midnight paranoia. As the snow danced in the light of my torch, I imagined lions, bears, and direwolves stalking me in the trees. I kept turning around, looking for the glow of their eyes. Blue eyes would be the most terrifying...for those are the lifeless eyes of a whitewalker. Finally, I made it through the trees unscathed. The winds hammered my eyes with blowing snow, long after the clouds lifted. I came to a junction in the trail. I had to decide which weakness in the wall to scale. I thought about ascending the loft, or Lambs slide. Lambs slide is so named because the watchers on the wall use it to sacrifice lambs to the god of light, by sliding them down its icy chute. There is another, easier weakness in the wall known as the keyhole. I decided to take the keyhole, for my lack of sleep was catching up to me and I didn't want to try anything too spicy. I took the shortcut through Jim's Grove, but lost the trail in a snowfield. Ignorantly, I ascended Battle Mountain and this cost me some time. Battle Mountain is named for a great battle that took place between the men of the realm and the wildlings who live north of the wall. Winter is coming. Then, a fire lit in the east. A great, bright comet appeared, which could only mean one thing. Dragons. But that is a story for another day. The dragonfire light also meant it was time to take a selfie. A dragonfire comet appeared in the east. I had to take a selfie with the wall. Up to this point I wore Canadian-style moccasins, which are quite comfortable. I knew that beyond the wall I would need proper wildling boots, crampons, and an axe. I donned this gear at the keyhole and stashed my moccasins. Canadian style shoes. Proper wildling footwear. Beyond the wall is a land of ice, snow, and forbidding rock. Great care must be taken to cross the snow-covered ledges. Here I ran into some men of the night's watch. Their Canadian shoes made them fast, but these were insufficient to scale the wall and they were turning back. The men of the night's watch. They kept talking about someone named Névé Snow. This must be the bastard boy who guards the summit. Luckily I had my Valyrian steel axe. The bastard Névé would be no match. My Valyrian steel axe. The ledges. I carefully crossed the ledges and came to the trough. It was a 600 foot climb up hard snow and ice, and my calves took a beating. The trough. I was very tired. I could see the dragonfire light waiting at the top of the trough and pressed on. When I reached the top of the trough the light warmed me and gave me new life. The narrows were also looking not so bad. Boulderfell and other southlands were clearly visible from the narrows. I longed to return to these warm lands. But soon, winter will come to all parts of the realm. The narows. Boulderfell and the southlands. I made quick work of the narrows and came to homestretch. The homestretch. The top of the homestretch. A great battle took place. Here, the bastard Névé Snow put up a good fight, but I defeated him and soon stood atop the wall, alone. No watchers on the wall today. Summit selfie. More of the wall. I could not find the three-eyed marmot. Oh well. I started down. Since I didn't burn Névé Snow's body he came back to life as a whitewalker, and we had another battle on the homestretch. He was once again defeated by my Valyrian steel. I had no fire with which to burn his body, however, so he will continue to guard the summit until the light from the dragonfire comet eventually kills him. I made it back south of the wall and traded my heavy wildling boots for the comfortable moccasins. A few miles down the trail I found the three-eyed marmot. The three-eyed marmot. Unlike in my dream, the marmot didn't do anything. It just sat on a rock and looked at me. I was pretty tired, though, and couldn't remember what the whole three-eyed marmot thing was about anyway. Something about a passageway, and whitewalkers? I don't know. Oh well, if it is really that important I can come back. Oh yeah, something about me that you might not know is that I watched the entire series of Game of Thrones in the past two weeks. Thumbnails for uploaded photos (click to open slideshow):

A Song of Ice and Snow

I've been having a recurring dream about a three-eyed marmot. The marmot leads me through a rocky passage, then it turns around and grunts at me. I knew this dream could only mean one thing. I must journey north of the wall and find the three-eyed marmot. Somehow it holds the key to defeating the whitewalkers.

What are whitewalkers, and what is the wall, you ask? Whitewalkers are the most terrifying beasts known to the realm. They reside north of the wall, reborn from a cold death. They cannot be killed except by fire. You can read this chilling tale in their lifeless, blue eyes. They also climb wicked good (see 14ers.com on Facebook).

Whitewalkers. Photo credit: the internet.

Only a wall 14,255 feet high protects us from the whitewalkers to the north. This wall, a mostly impenetrable fortress of rock, snow, and ice, still has a few weaknesses which must be guarded by the men of the night's watch. The men of the night's watch are the castaways, criminals, and bastards of the realm who swore an oath to guard the wall, rather than rot in prisons to the south. You can find these men of the night's watch, mostly on weekends in July and August. They typically wear sneakers, cotton clothes, and carry about 1L of water. They usually look very tired.

On this night I was not visited by the three-eyed marmot in my dreams. Instead I lay awake, unable to sleep. I knew I must venture north of the wall, and it could not wait. I left Boulderfell and rode north until my horse could ride no more. (Actually, there is a horse trail, but whatever.) Alone, I set off into the night. It began to snow, and a cold wind blew through the trees. This could only mean one thing. You know it, and I know it. Winter is coming.

The previous times I have scaled the wall, I managed to get a few hours of sleep beforehand. This time, the complete lack of sleep was taking its toll. I had the midnight paranoia. As the snow danced in the light of my torch, I imagined lions, bears, and direwolves stalking me in the trees. I kept turning around, looking for the glow of their eyes. Blue eyes would be the most terrifying...for those are the lifeless eyes of a whitewalker.

Finally, I made it through the trees unscathed. The winds hammered my eyes with blowing snow, long after the clouds lifted. I came to a junction in the trail. I had to decide which weakness in the wall to scale. I thought about ascending the loft, or Lambs slide. Lambs slide is so named because the watchers on the wall use it to sacrifice lambs to the god of light, by sliding them down its icy chute. There is another, easier weakness in the wall known as the keyhole. I decided to take the keyhole, for my lack of sleep was catching up to me and I didn't want to try anything too spicy. I took the shortcut through Jim's Grove, but lost the trail in a snowfield. Ignorantly, I ascended Battle Mountain and this cost me some time. Battle Mountain is named for a great battle that took place between the men of the realm and the wildlings who live north of the wall.

Then, a fire lit in the east. A great, bright comet appeared, which could only mean one thing. Dragons. But that is a story for another day. The dragonfire light also meant it was time to take a selfie.

A dragonfire comet appeared in the east.

Up to this point I wore Canadian-style moccasins, which are quite comfortable. I knew that beyond the wall I would need proper wildling boots, crampons, and an axe. I donned this gear at the keyhole and stashed my moccasins.

Beyond the wall is a land of ice, snow, and forbidding rock. Great care must be taken to cross the snow-covered ledges. Here I ran into some men of the night's watch. Their Canadian shoes made them fast, but these were insufficient to scale the wall and they were turning back.

They kept talking about someone named Névé Snow. This must be the bastard boy who guards the summit. Luckily I had my Valyrian steel axe. The bastard Névé would be no match.

I carefully crossed the ledges and came to the trough. It was a 600 foot climb up hard snow and ice, and my calves took a beating.

I was very tired. I could see the dragonfire light waiting at the top of the trough and pressed on. When I reached the top of the trough the light warmed me and gave me new life. The narrows were also looking not so bad. Boulderfell and other southlands were clearly visible from the narrows. I longed to return to these warm lands. But soon, winter will come to all parts of the realm.

I made quick work of the narrows and came to homestretch.

The top of the homestretch. A great battle took place.

Here, the bastard Névé Snow put up a good fight, but I defeated him and soon stood atop the wall, alone.

I could not find the three-eyed marmot. Oh well. I started down. Since I didn't burn Névé Snow's body he came back to life as a whitewalker, and we had another battle on the homestretch. He was once again defeated by my Valyrian steel. I had no fire with which to burn his body, however, so he will continue to guard the summit until the light from the dragonfire comet eventually kills him.

I made it back south of the wall and traded my heavy wildling boots for the comfortable moccasins. A few miles down the trail I found the three-eyed marmot.

Unlike in my dream, the marmot didn't do anything. It just sat on a rock and looked at me. I was pretty tired, though, and couldn't remember what the whole three-eyed marmot thing was about anyway. Something about a passageway, and whitewalkers? I don't know. Oh well, if it is really that important I can come back.

Oh yeah, something about me that you might not know is that I watched the entire series of Game of Thrones in the past two weeks.

Thumbnails for uploaded photos (click to open slideshow):

Comments or Questions

Dave B	This trip report is clever 6/20/2014 6:04pm I like it! Nice job on a solo adventure north of the wall. Well placed Frappier references.
TakeMeToYourSummit	You just made my day... 6/20/2014 7:31pm ...now I'll just need to go watch the episode ”The Climb”!
d_baker	yeah 6/21/2014 1:56am what Dave B said. Thanks for the entertaining read. I should go N of that wall sometime...
AlabamaTLC	Entertaining!! 6/21/2014 3:13am Excellent trip report with a fantastic entertaining twist. Well worth reading!! Loved it.
Tempelton	Nice report! 6/21/2014 4:32am It has been far too long since I have journeyed north of the wall. Alas! For by the time I get to it, men of the Night's Watch will be swarming the trough by the hundreds. Way to get the keyhole all to yourself.
pioletski	Great story! 6/21/2014 7:24pm Thanks, that was awesome! Looks like a great day too.
markanolan	Solid 6/21/2014 8:47pm Great report - was up there yesterday. Good snow conditions on the loft and coming down the trough. Sketchy here and there on the narrows, but otherwise a sick climb!
cheeseburglar	Good thing 6/22/2014 4:36am you found the three eyed marmot.
14erNewbie	Great TR :lol: 6/23/2014 5:11pm Thank you for a very entertaining report. I too must venture north of the wall this Sat. Thanks for the info on the condition. I will remember to bring my moccasins.

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