Rest in Peace, Terry Mathews

[Moraine14]

So sorry to hear this. I never met Terry, but I remember him from his forum posts and trip reports. He struck me as an active, enthusiastic and helpful member of this community. I hope he is at peace, and may peace be with his family & friends.

[sunny1]

I first met Terry in the Chicago basin, the weekend of his 14er finisher July 2011.
He asked me to keep an eye open for Anna's poles on Sunlight.
The poles were found. He went out of his way to thank me that day and again later by PM.

I shared a great day on Pikes with him and Darin Baker in March, 2012.

Last month, I ran into him - oddly enough - again on Pikes.
He was very open about his troubles. I'd known he was troubled and in trouble, knew he had demons.
I didn't know it'd end like this.

I regret not diving into the muck and mire he was in to push or pull him up, out of that slimy pit.

He was contentious at times, but his heart was in the right place.

Tragic and very sad.

RIP, Terry.

Terry and Darin, March 2012.jpg

Pikes March 2012 - Darin and Terry.jpg

[Fisching]

Like so many, I first new TMathews as the legendary poster of 14ers.com. It was next to impossible to be a newbie on this site and not see a post (or 15) of his a day. But that was Terry. Through his posts, we who he was - a guy who was willing to offer his “take-it or leave-it” knowledge to anyone with a question, post about the accomplishments of another climber like a proud mother, and display his disdain for the Manitou Incline. He always turned down my personal invites for this.

It wasn’t until 2012 that I got to see Terry’s best characteristics. Three of us – Rob Jansen, Dan McCool, and I – were looking at doing the Bells Traverse. Terry not only offered his GPS waypoints from the previous times he’s done it, but decided he’d come with us. He was meticulous on his route orientation; he would stop frequently and evaluate where to go next instead of making route corrections as he went. A week later, Terry and I were back at it tackling the Crestone Traverse together. Terry brought an extra camera specifically because he remembered the past week I didn’t have one. Terry was very open, honest, and frank about his struggles in the past; he wasn’t willing to hide them in the fear of being judged, but willing to expose himself. When we were leaving Crestone Peak to begin the traverse, we came across a hiker looking for the traverse turnoff. Terry not only showed him where it was, but told him to join us. Andrew was more than grateful to have the company and stayed with us till we return to his camp at S. Colony Lakes. When we reached the final Class 4 summit crux of Crestone Needle, Terry wanted to go first so he could get photos of us coming up the last section as it offered spectacular pictures. Terry wouldn’t even let me pay for half the gas. All he’d accept, mostly because I beat him to the billfold was paying for our celebratory pizza in Westcliffe.

Maroon Bells Traverse (59).jpg

Within an hour of Terry finding out I was out of work, he called and asked if me, my wife, and son would like to meet up for some ice cream in downtown Springs. Terry off course checked and double checked that what he was ordering was far removed from the peanuts. At the cash register, he refused to let me pay for the three things my family had ordered as he felt terrible that I was out of a job. During July, he sent me numerous texts asking about my employment search. Similar to Darrin Baker, he even offered me five, high-ranking personal references for prospective work. And that’s who Terry was. The compassion and continued concern he could display is a rare gift not many possess. Terry could be an incredibly caring guy willing to go beyond reasonable measures for people that meant a lot to him. It meant a lot to me. He meant a lot to me.

Terry was the first person to call me after Rob’s death, and when I broke the news to him, he lost it. Talking to him, comforting him really, was when the reality of the situation took hold. Afterwards, Terry responded for many like I’d seen him do for me as he went out of his way for the people he cared for despite his own grief. He drove to Glenwood Springs – jorts and all - to be there with Rob’s dad. He helped Rob’s fellow friends pay tribute to him as well as Chris Grey. He purchased large photos of our N. Maroon summit shot as a gift for Dan and I. He took the time to talk to me about the difficult subject of seeing a psychologist about the accident. He took Emma McVey, Bill Wood and myself, on the 18 hour excursion of the Little Bear Blanca traverse (the 3rd great traverse I did with him) as we paid tribute to Rob with a typical pose of his as well as his signature salute of Little Bear.

Little Bear Blanca Traverse (95).jpg

-Little Bear Signature Salute -

When he began his depression down-spiral shortly after this, it was hard for me to deal with as he pushed many people away. My hope was that he’d hit the rock bottom he needed and make the amends, repairs, what-have-you, needed to correct some of the deep pain that existed in his life. Unfortunately, it wasn’t meant to be. Now, I feel left with a bunch of questions – Why? Could I have done more? Should I have done more? Did I give back to him in the same way he gave to me? And sadly, all of this is conjecture now as we reflect on what “could have been.”

Despite Terry’s problems, though they were many, I saw moments of a man who unselfishly gave himself to help friends whether their needs be great or small. Terry chose numerous times to be a guy who would help others. If there’s something to take away from Terry's death, it comes from my experience as teacher. Through the classroom on any given day, I could have 180 different students walk in that I only have a small chance to interact with. There are far too many students I remember not for their academic achievement, but for their personal struggles which I can barely comprehend the magnitude of. Terrible divorce, single parent household, mother/father abandoned the family, homeless, poor, drug and alcohol abuse, rape, child abuse, pregnancy, depression. What struck me wasn't the reprehensible nature of each situation, but the number of students in similar situations. There are so many people that have come in and out of our lives who are living in an inhospitable world trying to deal with some terribly heavy issues seemingly alone. Instead of adjudicating the people in our lives, we need to try and make a more concerted effort to offer that compassion so many people need but don’t have, like Terry did.

[Perea]

My one and only summit with Terry RIP!

[Yog]

What a real shame to find this out. Too many losses this year, both in the climbing community, and personally. I hope that Terry has found peace and comfort and that his pain has come to an end. To his family, I'm so sorry for your loss.

[FCSquid]

I'd only hiked once with Terry, when he joined Dave, Jerry and I on a climb of Little Bear's Southwest Ridge in 2010. This was only about 5 days after Kevin Hayne's accident, so we were all fundamentally nervous about being on the mountain. Our goal was to try to really properly document the SW Ridge route, since at the time, very few people were going this way. Due to the private property issues near Tobin Creek, Terry, Bill Middlebrook and I decided that it would be best to keep this as a TR and not a formal route on the website.

One of my best memories of the climb was how upbeat and happy Terry was during the entire climb. I took very little satisfaction in that particular summit (since the terrain is so treacherous), but Terry was in his element the entire day. Although he'd forgotten his helmet, he hauled this HUGE SLR around his neck throughout the entire climb. I ended up borrowing several of his photos for my trip report since the quality from his camera was so good.

Although his trip report is now inactive, I'm sure Terry would wish that people could still see it - for their own research, and ultimately their own safety:
http://www.14ers.com/php14ers/tripreport.php?trip=8251

I've heard from several people on the site that the route we documented has been very helpful while doing the Mama Bear traverse. Terry's legacy was always looking out for other climbers, sharing his knowledge, and trying to keep everyone safe. Since this report has been so widely viewed: http://www.14ers.com/php14ers/tripreport.php?trip=8565 (almost 8,000 views), Terry, you've accomplished this goal. It's helped several climbers complete the route safely, and perhaps kept a couple of them alive.

Well done, Terry - good on ya, buddy. We'll miss you.

-Phil

[YooperJonKornely]

I met TMathews at two Colorado Springs HH's when I first was becoming interested in 14ers. Showing up to these HH's by myself, not knowing anyone at all... I clearly remember Terry both times being the guy to jump up and introduce himself, and to introduce me to others as well. This small story absolutely ties in with all the other stories I've read about Terry and the kind of person he was. RIP man.

[globreal]

What a real shame to find this out. Too many losses this year, both in the climbing community, and personally.

I would agree….to many losses to our community and personally. I've had a REAL TOUGH last 4 months…especially with Steve and Terry's deaths.

I read a daily devotional each morning. This was todays:

July 16--SELF-PITY IS A SLIMY, BOTTOMLESS PIT.
Once you fall in, you tend to go deeper and deeper into the mire. As you slide down those slippery walls you are well on your way to depression, and the darkness is profound.

Your only hope is to look up and see the Light of My Presence shining down on you. Though the light looks dim from your perspective deep in the pit, those rays of hope can reach you at any depth. While you focus on Me in trust, you rise ever so slowly out of the abyss of despair. Finally, you can reach up and grasp My hand. I will pull you out into the Light again.

Psalm 40:1-2
I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.

Wallowing in my own self-pity,
Crying out to the Lord…
Britt

[Louis Mathews]

Mr. Mathews,

I, too buried a son. Like Terry, he was handsome, successful and hugely admired by his community. Like Terry, he died by his own hand. I am going to guess that you knew there was something wrong and did everything in your power to deal with it. We did. The sad truth is that the chemistry of the brain is beyond our ability to deal with.

I have walked the path that lies before you. I know there is nothing I can say that can make it any easier.

Be thankful for the time that you had with such an inspirational soul. He had more of an impact in a short period of time than most of us have in many more years.

I wish him the peace he could not find in this world. I wish you the strength to deal with his loss.

Love,

The Abanto Family

Thank you for your kind words and I hurt for you and your family. Terry suffered a critical brain injury when he was struck by a car at age 9. He has always been a happy go lucky guy and everybody he met was positively influenced. We believe he was bi-polar and we had him in therapy when he was young and he sought counseling throughout his young life. In recent years he distanced himself from his brother, Mom and I. I have deep regrets and guilt that we were overbearing and too controlling in his life. It was only over concern about his welfare. I am so happy he found the 14ers and vice versa. I had no idea of how he impacted the mountaineering community and all those people he found jobs for as an employment consultant and counselor. It didn't pay well but it is what loved.

[LIV]

Terry - you will be missed but never forgotten. Rest peacefully.

[Aubrey]

This is unbelievable. And so sad. I always enjoyed Terry's posts ... so thoughtful and passionate, and you could really tell how much he cared for others. Another major loss to this community. Sincere condolences to his family and friends.

[jeremy27]

I never met Terry but I enjoyed reading his posts/TRs. He and I shared Beta last spring and he was super appreciative. Condolences to his friends and family.