Peak(s):  "Huerfano Pk"  -  13,828 feet
Iron Nipple  -  13,500 feet
Date Posted:  08/30/2018
Date Climbed:   08/26/2018
Author:  Zero and Sprinkles
Additional Members:   Paula, Jon Frohlich
 What does Huerfano mean in Spanish? Purgatory  

Sprinkles: On a day like any other a few weekends ago, we started up Evans B, towards our 50th ranked peak above 13k. Mom had packed us grilled cheese and cookies. Then weather rolled in and we had to turn around a few hundred feet shy of the summit, staying at 49 summits that day.

Zero: Did she even check the weather? Who wants soggy grilled cheese??

Maya: It wasn't THAT bad.

Zero: You're not even our real sister, Maya.

Paula: Zero, you're adopted.

Sprinkles: So back to the car we went, luckily our buddy Dave had gotten back first and turned the car on so we could warm up quickly while we headed home wet and unaccomplished.

Right before our humans decided we should turn around

Sprinkles: So the following weekend, we set off for Huerfano, a lovely Centennial near Lindsey that Mom had had her eye on since I was just a youngun.

Zero: You know darn well she just wanted to hike the Iron Nipple because she has a fascination with inappropriately named peaks.

Sprinkles: Probably, but I love her anyways. Since Jon was with us and had already hiked these peaks, it was decided we'd take the North Slopes routes described in Roach's 13er book up and loop back down the standard route for something different.

Zero: This turned out to be a poor life choice.

Sprinkles: After parking at the trailhead for the Huerfano Trail, we started out on the path, losing it for just a moment while we crossed a stream, but quickly found a cairn on the opposite side. From there, we gained a fair amount of elevation easily along a nice trail.

Sprinkles: Then we reached what was supposed to be the turnoff to the Ute Trail and well......

Zero: The humans missed it. They're worthless some days.

Maya: Most days.

Paula: Whatever, I have thumbs and can drive.

Sprinkles: So we back tracked a bit to a little cairn. Just a couple rocks and easy to miss. Jon had a GPS that came in handy at this point, we'd probably still be out in the woods without it. We sidehilled where the Ute Trail once existed, hoping to eventually get to treeline where we could see our route up the mountain. It never came. Mom got hungry, we pushed on. Then we lost Mom. I informed Jon we had to go back, despite him wanting to find a way out of the trees. She was sitting on a log eating unicorn fruit snacks. Jon asked if she was ok, I feared for his well being. Mom mentioned briefly considering shanking him.

Paula: I warned him not to let me get hungry.

Sprinkles: True.

Maya: Boys are dumb sometimes, please forgive him. I like hiking with you.

Jon: There are no pictures from the 3 hours we spent in the trees. Things got a little rough. We won't speak any more of that time.

Paula: Does treeline actually exist? I'm developing trust issues here.

Jon: For me or Roach?

Paula: Both.

Jon: ......

Jon: Probably best if no one believes anything I say the rest of today.

Sprinkles: After a snack and a reconciliation, we continued the journey on through the woods. They felt like they'd never end.

Jon: What is Huerfano Spanish for?

Paula: Purgatory.

Sprinkles: Actually, it means orphan, but I know better than to correct Mom when she's hungry. Through the woods. And more woods. And. More. Woods. We aren't going to Granny's house are we?

Zero: Who chose this route?? [Expletive deleted]

Paula: Jon did.

Maya: Daddy who?

Zero: [German expletive deleted]

Sprinkles: A couple hours later, we hit treeline around 12k. From here, we couldn't quite see the summit, but the ridge was visible. We picked the far left side of the ridge so we could walk up the grass. There were a couple other lines to chose from with various degrees of steepness and choss. Chose your own adventure here. Once we got on the ridge, we could see the peak and moods improved. Things got a touch scrambly and exposed towards the end, but we made it without incident.

(time for some pictures, now that we could actually see something other than trees)


Almost to 50

Nearing the top

Maya: I was just making sure everyone was safe.

Zero: I'm small but check out how good I look in this photo.
Jon: Near the top we saw a guy on top of Huerfano. We waved. He appeared possibly confused. I was assuming he wondered where we had come from and why. He left before we reached the summit. I assume he told stories about the mystery people and dogs he saw later.

This peak has gone to the dogs

Zero: I'd have signed that register myself but I don't have thumbs. Thankfully my humans are my humble servants and did it for me.

The top of Huerfano, I mean Purgatory...

Paula: There was actually a register at the summit!

Zero: You get excited about weird things.

Paula: I get excited about little dogs and hiking. Be glad you didn't get taken home by someone who would have made you a lap dog.

Zero: Touche.

An actual CMC register. It's like an artifact from another time. Oh, and cookies.

Everyone signed in and and Jon doesn't live in Denver

Some 14ers over that way

And a 14er that way

Sprinkles: And cookies! Mom made us special cookies!

Sprinkles: Why do you taunt us like this?

Zero: Seriously though, put the camera down and give us the cookies.

Maya: Please?

Sprinkles: After a little stop on Huerfano, we headed down the standard route towards the Iron Nipple. There was a route up from that direction, but we chose to go from the side closer to the Lindsey. We hiked almost up to the top of the Iron Nipple. Us doggos waited with Jon while Mom summitted the peak. Safety first.


Zero: Now that they finally had fed me cookies I was ready for more

Heading off Huerfano


Rounding the Nipple


Paula doing her best Waldo pose

Maya: I totally could have done climbed it but they made me stop here.

Zero: Mom wouldn't let us summit. Something about too much exposure for doggos. Crumb bum.

Paula: Zero, never call your mother a crumb bum in front of company.

Back off the Nipple

Heading down the Nipple

Down to the saddle

Sprinkles: She came back quickly and we went home towards the saddle with Lindsey. From there it was an easy route back.

Zero: We should have come up this route to begin with.

Paula and Maya: Yup.

Jon: .......

Maya: I was just hoping they'd give me grilled cheese

That's a delicious looking lunch

Maya: Seemed like a good time for a nap

Sprinkles: Mom cooked us grilled cheese below the saddle. The trail there is well defined, but a little eroded. Nice to follow back to the car after a long day of route finding. One more mile down the road from the Lindsey trailhead, we got back to Mom's truck at the Huerfano trailhead and us doggos promptly started our naps. Naps continued until Pueblo, when we stopped at Sonic for celebratory cheeseburgers. Thanks Mom!

Jon: In case it's not clear, don't follow this route. Ever. Numbers: 14 miles, 11 hours total, 3 hours in the woods, 4000+ feet, and 1 very poor route choice.

Thumbnails for uploaded photos (click to open slideshow):
2 3 4 5 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 25 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52

 Comments or Questions

Love it
08/30/2018 15:06
I absolutely love this report! Better let Z & S write all your reports from now on...


I couldn't put this down
08/30/2018 15:29
most humorous, I mean serious, report I have read in a while, thanks, Al


[Expletive Deleted] Hilarious
08/30/2018 16:02
I'm with Jay. More Zero and Sprinkles authored reports. Maybe Maya can write one as well?

Congrats on the big 5-0! Hoping for many more!


It's like this 12ers...
08/30/2018 16:08
Fuckin Hilarious!

Fun read. Thanks dogs!

08/31/2018 08:37
The English translation of Huerfano is "orphan."


I enjoyed two Nipples on my hike of Huerfano
08/31/2018 10:01
By taking the standard Lindsey trail out and back.
Jon, what were you thinking? Two nipples are better than one.


Damn it, Matt!
08/31/2018 16:24
You made me laugh with a mouthful of beer mid-swallow with that comment... A pox on your head!


Oh, Matt.
09/05/2018 16:21
I have it on good authority that Jon is perfectly pleased with the nipples in his life.


Looking forward...
09/05/2018 16:31 the next dog report. I almost took that North Slopes route two years ago in my endeavor to avoid 14er trails. Roach makes it sound delightful..."avoids the crowds and takes you through a forgotten basin." I was solo and had a hunch I'd get lost. Glad to see Maya is still at it. And has friends to show the ropes.

Chicago Transplant

Almost met you
09/06/2018 08:56
Fun report! We saw you hiking down the road when we were at our campsite near the Huerfano TH. We should have recognized the dogs from the forum and introduced ourselves. We climbed Lindsey that Monday.

06/30/2019 22:10
Lol! Cool report. Congrats on getting 50


09/20/2019 20:32
Best trip report evahhhhhhhh. - Fosterthewonderpup's Mom

   Using your forum id/password. Not registered? Click Here

Caution: The information contained in this report may not be accurate and should not be the only resource used in preparation for your climb. Failure to have the necessary experience, physical conditioning, supplies or equipment can result in injury or death. and the author(s) of this report provide no warranties, either express or implied, that the information provided is accurate or reliable. By using the information provided, you agree to indemnify and hold harmless and the report author(s) with respect to any claims and demands against them, including any attorney fees and expenses. Please read the Safety and Disclaimer pages for more information.

© 2020®, 14ers Inc.