Peak(s):  Mt. Bierstadt  -  14,060 feet
Grays Peak  -  14,270 feet
Torreys Peak  -  14,267 feet
Date Posted:  11/27/2012
Date Climbed:   11/24/2012
Author:  V0MIT
 Grays, Towers, & Beer City  

High they're, my name is Vomit. I know it has been awhile since I've gotten on here w/ reports, but figured I'd post a quickie of the high terrain during Thanksgiving. This is just a basic report of conditions on some Front Range 14ers, so nothing special, just a fun read more than anything. Actually, this trip marked my first time up Grays/Torreys, which is rather pathetic considering their close proximity to Denver. I always go far to climb for some reason that I neglect these closer mountains.

Bierstadt was what I accomplished first, having set off in late Friday morning for Guanella Pass. About six cars when I got there (I love winter hiking for that reason), & an ice-free mud-frozen hard trail that wasn't in slippery flooded conditions like that of early summer. There's also that small lake to the left of the trail when you start the initial down climb to the creek - I went out on the ice & found it to be about 1/2 foot thick, making the lake easily walkable. I tried sliding & jumping just to see what would happen.
Bierstadt from the Atlantic City boardwalk.
Is there a name to this lake/tarn? Right next to the trail near the parking area.

It was surprising how calm it was, a little breeze here and there. The wind didn't really kick up until that first steep hump above all the tall bushes to where one begins that long endless grassy-covered schlog to the summit ridgeline. Since I started late, most people were coming down, so I knew I'd have a summit to myself, for a good hour until some later dwellers showed up. But as figured, the summit ridgeline was quite brutal, the breeze coming from the north, but it wasn't as harsh as it could've been. It was quite tolerable to be honest, & the wind was avoidable if you hovered on the southern face looking down towards Frozen Lake.

Views were incredible. Crestones marked the southernmost sky (saw the isolated Greenhorn Mountain east of the Sangres as well), the Elks were somewhat poking up to the west, Longs Peak had a low cloud system over it, & well, the haze was evident to the east. Looks like we're starting to see effects from the passing of Amendment 64 ha ha.
Bierstadt summit.
Mt. Evans nearby. Road looks dry, might have to bike up it sometime.

The lovely atmosphere & late afternoon sunset made for a pleasant descent. The peaks slowly became more tinted w/ orange & by the time I got back to the parking lot, the moon was fully visible right over Bierstadt. Calm & absolutely still, couldn't beat it.
The evening alpenglow.

So the ascent up BeerCity was pretty basic. It was from the summit that I finally took my gaze on Grays & Torreys, the twin pinnacles of the Front Range. I never really had interest in doing these 14ers, at least from the standard approach, because of crowds and in general just because they didn't sound appealing. But the November skies really seemed to make it worth a check, plus after learning Grays marked the Continental Divide high point, it gave me incentive. A minute of research, I figured I'd try my luck heading up the road to Argentine Pass via the road entrance at Keystone ski area & see how far I could get up w/o any serious snow blocks. I figured there's be less snow going up that basin for having a southern view, & definitely fewer people overall.

I started up fairly early Saturday, made my way towards the start of the Montezuma Road, then hit the dirt road that led to the Argentine Pass trailhead. The road was covered w/ crunchy sugar snow, & I didn't have outstanding traction w/ my tires. Some slick inclines, I'd get stuck midway up, spin out of control, then reverse back to a low spot & floor it up. It really was next to impossible to get stuck, simply because there was plenty of tire tracks leading all the way up to the parking area & you could easily reverse down. One section I had to cross involved an ice pool, but it seemed like it had melted a little coming back down. Conditions should be ideal even now, if you want a nice solitude approach up Grays or nearby peaks, this is the moment to do it.

Higher up you go, the less snow there is. Just where the trees were thickest, that was the hardest section to drive in, as well as an area midway up the dirt road where you ascend up a rocky section w/ some high protrudes. Beyond that, sections of the dirt road were visible up to the turnoff for the Pennsylvania Mine & beyond.

At the trailhead, I was surprised to find myself the only one there. I figured there's be at least another car or two. It didn't bother me honestly, just more to enjoy on my own. Passing the gate & remains of an ore funnel, I followed the old mining roads up Horseshoe Basin towards the ridge following up to the south slopes of Grays. Snow was sporadic, but easily avoidable. A few cairns here & there showed me the path up the grassy slope, which became rockier & rockier w/ each step. Behind me, a line of snow streaked up the mountainside, revealing the road up to Argentine Pass. I need to bike up that road one day, looks like a lot of fun.
Argentine Pass trailhead.
Glancing down the Horseshoe Basin near the summit ridgeline.
Final leg of Grays.

One highlight of the trip occurred just below the ridgeline to the summit. Two mountain goats, watching me curiously, soon got up & moved onwards in sketchiness. And then sure enough, right before my eyes, some testosterone-crazed hormonal trigger in the larger male goat sparked, & they started the gang bang. Ten times or so they did it, I didn't care to tally. Not sure why they did it that many times, either the male goat was just prepping each time or simply couldn't work it right. Uh huh, I never felt so privileged to be the only one witnessing this.
Nothing beats Rated R summit sex.
This would be a Planet Earth postcard.

Well, past the romantic air, I encountered Hurricane Sandy on the serrated ridge connecting Grays to Ruby Mountain. What should've been a relatively easy plocket to the top turned out to be a Category 17 hurricane plowing me off my path w/ relentless uplifting wind drafts making several desperate attempts to assassinate me by blowing me off the mountain into the exosphere. And if it was this bad below the summit of Grays, I knew that traversing to Torreys was going to be like jumping off a diving board into a tank full of great whites.

Somehow, & by divine intervention, I survived & reached the summit of Grays, finding a few other mountaineering champs huddled in the large snowy rock shelter. From the top, Torreys looked far & close at the same time. So I figured I'd just rush it to that peak, & see if I lived or not. And holy crocketeers, the ascent up Torreys was exhausting & humiliating, like being a spinning propeller on a helicopter w/ a cold hard-headed headache forming from motion sickness & intense concentration. I honestly didn't celebrate that long when I did reach the summit - there was nowhere to hide & escape the blast.
Grays summit.
Torreys summit, down the standard basin I didn't ascend.

If it wasn't so awful, I would've enjoyed the view much more. I guess that's why I take panoramas, to see the views without the elements. It seemed the day overall was clearer than Bierstadt, & Longs definitely poked out high to the north, along w/ the Never Summers, Rabbit Ears, Park Range, & Parkview Mountain, one of my personal favorites. Capitol Peak was very prominent as the western beacon as well as the lava-rimmed Flat Tops. Plenty of good views, always intriguing to think that nearly every 14er you can see is named after someone or named after their appearance, based on whichever range they're in. For example, all the ones in the Front Range are named after people, those in the Elks are named after their characteristics.
The Tenmiles, the Elks, Holy Cross Ridge.

So I met a number of hikers & climbers on both peaks, though more of them on Grays. Torreys I had to my lonesome. Many of the fellow climbers were in better suited winter equipment than what I had. Seemed like everyone I met came from the Bakersville exit area, an easy ascent back down to the trail. As for me, I had to re-climb Grays to get back down to the Horseshoe Basin. What was I thinking? Plocketing forward, the traverse back sure was slow, & I didn't care to rush, the several blasts of blowing snow crossing the divide into the Atlantic watershed & smacking me in the face. But before long, I was back on top of Grays, & was presumably the last person to leave the summit for the day.
Back on Grays, jeans & sneakers to prove it.

Sitting in the rock shelter, it was quite tempting to stay up here till the sunset, but I knew I had to get down. And it was a slow descent, & finally back on the ridge opposite of the horrific wind. I was grateful for calmness as an orange alpenglow lit up alongside Argentine Peak & Mt. Edwards, the moon rising high above like it did on Bierstadt.
Down the windy hellhole ridgeline towards Ruby Mountain.
Grassy ridge down to Horseshoe Basin. Argentine Pass ahead & Evans/Bierstadt.
Wide view of the basin.

Before long, I was back on old mining roads, crossing long icy sections & meandering past forgotten mines. One mine really had my attention, on the bottom flank of Argentine, w/ what appeared to be an old structure w/ perhaps a rail track leading inside. It was getting dark, I didn't really get to examine it.
A nebula sunset.

I got back to the trailhead when it was astronomical twilight, the near full moon casting long shadows. I started up the car, warmed up, then headed back down the road, gliding through the snow & making my way back to the entrance of the dirt road. Currently, the start of the road is not gated - not sure when it would be. Keystone itself was lit up, & I went over Loveland Pass, took a stop to gaze at the moonlit peaks, then skedaddled off.
Driving conditions headed back to Keystone.

Well, conditions were still tolerable overall. I managed to do everything in tennis shoes, blue jeans, & a hoodie. Oh yes, I definitely got some looks, a few laughs, & some remarks for that. All these winter-geared climbers probably saw me & knew I was doomed from the start. But here I am, triumphant over my insanity (it was mandatory that I survived in order to get this report posted). This time of year though, I would strongly recommend a face mask, a no brainer to many intelligent climbers. Maybe get some heavy lead anchors too so you don't get hurled off the summit.

Before I sign off, here's some spherical panoramas of the summits & other areas encountered along my ascent/descent. View full screen & use the arrow keys to navigate, zoom in, etc.

Unnamed lake along Mt. Bierstadt trail
Mt. Bierstadt summit
Argentine Pass trailhead - Grays Peak south ridge approach
Grays Peak summit
Torreys Peak summit

Well, all the cold headachy wind & billy goat porn has definitely escalated my urge to purge. So please excuse me while I go *VOMIT*. Adios for now, until my next spherical report!

Thumbnails for uploaded photos (click to open slideshow):

 Comments or Questions

billy goatin'
11/28/2012 04:21
Puts a new perspective on the term. Ha! Fantastic mountain porn. Too funny!! Thanks for posting those pix....good for a laugh. Thatta boy, Billy.


11/28/2012 04:49
I've seen a couple squirrels in a tree doin' it, but never mountain goats...


Let's get it on!
11/28/2012 15:48
Mountain goat mantsy, now that's awesome!


V0MIT is better than the movies!
11/28/2012 17:24
A good day in the mountains is better than the movies, and just like the movies, you get to view:
Crude humor and language
Drug use
Sexual situations
Violence, pilferage, thievery, horror (if especially unlucky)
Am I forgetting something?
You just saved me $6.00-10.50 for a ticket!

Dig the TR - and respect the bodily sacrifice (frozen digits?) that went into the pics. Your pics are clear and stunning.

Always learn something from V0MIT TR's - never thought about the front range 14ers being named after peeps vs Elks being named after features
Thanks for the education!

Most importantly, have also learned to enjoy the sphericals w/o nauseating vertigo!

Carry on, for the love of nausea. Cheers!


11/28/2012 18:19
Great job writing an interesting TR about some of the reported-to-death peaks. Very entertaining. The mountain goat photos...hahaha...


Made my day
11/28/2012 18:32
Hilarious. Simply hilarious.


Reaching the peak.....
11/28/2012 22:13
Image 10!


2.65 mile high club..
11/29/2012 02:30
Even the goats want to join. The least they could do is go behind a boulder or something. Never really thought about the meaning of the 14er names in the Elks, thanks for bringing that to light.

Tyler and I are hiking the Rosalie Pk and friends on Friday if you're interested in joining?


11/29/2012 02:40
for the photos; some of them are truly great. And the beta on the less-used approach is great. But your wardrobe is still, well, crazy (the ”you're lucky to be alive” kind). Climb on.


11/29/2012 03:52 its finest. Enough to click on a G/T/B report. But wait.. is that..? Yep. What my high school PE teacher warned us about, though I didn't believe! Hope they used protection. Fine images and writing, too.


thanks all for the comments :D
11/29/2012 04:29
Gotta love the animal kingdom.

Sunny 1: Hahaha, didn't want you to waste your money for a ticket ;-P. But you are spot on, maybe one extra perk is that a lot of movies today include special effects? In the future, I am hoping to have some of my spherical panoramas contain effects (anaglyphic or include multiple persons), but of course that's when summit conditions are more ideal & I can spend a longer time up there. Not sure what the temp was up there, but the wind chill made it feel around single digits (I often fail to do much research before my climb, so many solo hikes I suffer from the elements in some way).

SurfNTurf: You're definitely right, I originally wasn't planning to post a report of these over-documented peaks had it not been for the unrestrained actions of future Papa Billy ;-).

dehrlich101: Go behind a boulder... haha, right? That ”do-er” goat would watch me, then as soon as his target moved forward, he'd pounce. Almost seemed to be mocking me, saying ”bet you don't get as much fun as I do”. My Friday is locked at work, but I was invited by Tyler regarding Rosalie last week. I feel rather unmotivated to do that particular peak this time of season, though I do appreciate the invite. I hope you guys can tackle it. BRING FACE PROTECTION, that's all I'll say.

cftbq: Haha thanks. Still lucky I have ten fingers to type, & none missing from frostbite. Ohh if only I had a 14ers account a few years ago... I really made some foolish climbs back in the day.


11/30/2012 16:18
As Jeff said, excellent TR on peaks that are beaten more than a dead horse. Thanks for the beta on that area as I'm considering Square Top this weekend.


Two Goats A Thumpin'
12/01/2012 16:32
Sounds like a remake of twelve days of xmas. Nice photos and TR.
Very enjoyable reading. I hiked this trio ten days earlier and comparing your photos to mine was surprised at how fast the snow is melting up there. Hope we get a dumping soon.


12/04/2012 21:47
Seems you had a good time and dig the goat porn.


Grays, Towers, and Beer City
01/17/2013 01:28
I believe the lake is Deadmans Lake

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