i think the obsessiveness went beyond just the climbing trips themselves, but also including the preparation and training. the one thing i really do remember from the book pretty clearly is how he described training so long and frequently that he would repeatedly injure himself, and then try to train through the injuries and make it worse. he was obviously overtraining. maybe it would be more accurate to say he was an obsessive exerciser than mountaineer. i also seem to remember him saying he was a workaholic, as a doctor so basically he was spending all his free time either training for mountains or at his job. i definitely got the impression of a guy who used work and training as an excuse to avoid his family, which, if he didn't want kids and felt like his wife trapped him into a type of marriage with children he didn't want or wasn't ready for, would explain a lot. it wasn't just about the mountaineering, plenty of busier climbers manage to have healthy relationships. if it wasn't climbing he would've found something else to avoid whatever he was trying to avoid (i think i read that after he got back from Everest and swore off climbing, he took up flying airplanes instead, so not much has really changed there).Scott P wrote: ↑Mon Apr 05, 2021 11:46 amThat's what the book wanted to protray, but Beck only climbed something like ten mountains in his entire life (all of them guided). I call BS on Beck trying to protray himself as a obsessed mountaineer. That's why I said that the book is for a non-mountaineer audience. I can understand why she wouldn't want him to go to Everest, but Beck spent very little of his life climbing.
i don't remember so much about the parts of the book his wife wrote, maybe just because i wasn't really that interested in her perspective which was a bit more focused on the family drama. so my main takeaways from it were from Beck's sections:
1) don't let a hobby or interest become so obsessive that you start poisoning your relationships and friendships over it (and if you're using said hobby or interest as a way of avoiding something else in your life, then just face it and deal with it directly, or it'll blow up on you even worse in the long run)
2) find someone whose future plans and desires match up with your own (as someone who doesn't have or want kids myself, i made damn sure to find someone who felt the same way)
2a) if you don't want kids, as a man, there are things you can do to make sure that doesn't happen; birth control is the responsibility of both people, don't depend on the woman only