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I would tell this guy straight up that if he doesn't get his act together you won't hike with him anymore. His unpreparedness could become a major liability if you do get into an emergency situation (or even cause an emergency situation).
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evaunitross wrote:So, how do I find out about these meetups and happy hour? Is this a 14ers.com specific thing?
Show up next Thursday:
Somewhat of a prick wrote:Tell him to quit being a dumbass fuckhole and buy some gear if he wants to keep camping with you.
Two Thumbs Up! The Direct Approach!
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evaunitross wrote: I think I may do what some of you suggested and let him experience a cold (but not deadly) night and then make it clear that he has to take care of himself from now on. If he doesn't wanna continue hiking with me then thats cool, we'll probably still play video games and chill together occassionally.
Maybe look out for a camping spot and reserve a cabin nearby without his knowledge? That way, if the situation gets serious in the middle of the night, you dont have to wake up and hike out/drive at some uncomfortable hour!
That said, I wouldn;t go for any passive-agressive stuff. I have a few guys that I regularly hit the trail with and trust completely to be ready and able to do what we've planned to do. A few others have joined us at times, and every single time before a new person comes along, I send out a gear list to them and find a friendly way to make it clear that:
1. We all have families and are taking time away from them to do this
2. We have been planning for and looking forward to this for some time now
3. We are spending money to do this
4. You need to have the minimum gear on this list in order to be able to do this with us
5. While we have water filters, stoves and so forth that we share among the group, nobody will carry spares of other gear for you or go without because you did not plan
6. You don't have to be a rock star or a triathlete but you do have to be physically able to walk 18 miles a day / climb a 14er / build a shelter in the snow / whatever the case may be, because that is the activity we are going to do
Then I find a (still hopefully friendly) way to make it plain that failure on any of these points means that the trip we have all been looking forward to, spending money on, and taking time off for will be less fun than if Mr. Unprepared were not there, and we don't allow that.
You're welcome as can be, as long as you carry your own pack, in other words.
I've never had a trip wrecked, had a couple impacted by someone who just couldn't hack the miles or the trail when they thought they could, but no huge disasters.
Just be up front and direct - I am going to go do this; to do it with me you need to have this; happy to have you join me but make sure you use and double-check this list I gave you WELL before you find yourself fifty miles on foot from a two-pump gas station in 35 degree temperatures, because I will not help you if you don't.*
*Perhaps obviously, that last statement does not apply in cases where you need to render aid. If you're hurt or in danger, I got your back - if my whiskey looks good and you forgot yours, well sucks to be you, then.
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"You're a disgrace to the climbing community. Turn in your trekking poles and ice ax at the next depot."
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- Location: Illinois
mike_kadow wrote:MonGoose wrote: but it sounds like a major difference between your friend and I, is cognizants (or conscientiousness?). That's hard to teach,
also hard to spell.
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am i crazy?!!?!
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steelfrog wrote:Somewhat of a prick wrote:Tell him to quit being a dumbass fuckhole and buy some gear if he wants to keep camping with you.
Two Thumbs Up! The Direct Approach!
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- Location: Golden, CO
Doesn't mean you can't still be his friend, just that hiking isn't going to be one of those hobbies you share with him. I've got great friends with whom I've never hiked or climbed, but can sit with for hours around the poker table with good Scotch and cigars.
Looks like the best option is simply to expand your circle of friends, as others have suggested. There are too many great hikes to be had to waste them on people who don't appreciate them or do their part.
"Nature is a choir..." - Timothy Keller
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