Like a soap opera

by **painless4u2** » 07 Apr 2012, 18:30

An Epic Report by Epic Mountain Men:
Please be aware that the following report was done by professional, real mountaineers and as such no attempt should be made, no matter how tempting, to duplicate such feats unless done by qualified real men. Ordinary “14er” tourists need not consider such things.
It has been decided to attempt all the 14ers the only real way, and that is from sea level to summit, barefoot, and in winter, with a ski descent. Mere mortals can simply drive up to any given mountain and ascend the 3000’ and call it a day, but really, have they truly climbed a 14,000’ peak? I think not. Obviously, new profiles must be created to reflect such accomplishments, to be posted at the avatar name. I’m arranging this with Bill, and the sooner the better!
SO, from what ocean to which summit? Due to the gradual altitude climb and lack of intervening mountain ranges, it was decided the Texas coast would be the preferable starting point, specifically Galveston Island. And the first summit must be my favorite peak, Mt. Bross. Since Bross has some private property considerations, I chose to bring along someone imminently qualified to determine legality issues and other esoteric rules and regulations, my dear friend godThomas. Also joining us as our standing alpha male and premier mountaineer, dancewithmoonshine.
As we begin our journey of 1100 miles (45 days before winter) we, of course garnered a few stares as our packs are loaded with skis and ice axes in rather warm Texas. Being Texans, they would have a difficult time understanding such things and knowing they are in the presence of greatness. The barefoot approach does have its shortcomings on this portion of our climb, as the asphalt does get a little hot and is somewhat rough to our feet. We take such things in stride, and consider it simply proper conditioning for the rough rock of Bross. We did not take any pictures of this portion of our hike, as, after all, it is Texas. Same with New Mexico. Poor dolts that have to live in such places, makes me glad I live in the Springs now, and am a real Coloradoan (after my move from New Jersey, of course).
Dancewithmoonshine took some outstanding photos of our climb up Bross, except there was such a dense fog over the entire mountain all the pictures appear as grey blanks, so we didn’t post any. Needless to say, we all summited Bross without difficulty, once godThomas determined where we could legally walk. This, of course, prevented us from actually reaching the true summit, but since it was in visual range we decided it was a successful climb. We met die4pc on our way down, who was busying himself shooting marmots.
We descended on skis without problem, except for the loss of several of our toes due to frostbite. In fact, our feet will probably require amputation, so we will be somewhat delayed for our return to Galveston as we recuperate in a local hospital. All in all an epic climb!
EpicDude

by **Waggs** » 07 Apr 2012, 19:51

painless4u2 wrote:An Epic Report by Epic Mountain Men:
Please be aware that the following report was done by professional, real mountaineers and as such no attempt should be made, no matter how tempting, to duplicate such feats unless done by qualified real men. Ordinary “14er” tourists need not consider such things.

<snip>

We descended on skis without problem, except for the loss of several of our toes due to frostbite. In fact, our feet will probably require amputation, so we will be somewhat delayed for our return to Galveston as we recuperate in a local hospital. All in all an epic climb!
EpicDude

This must have been one of them soapy's destined for the CW network.

Waggs

by **painless4u2** » 07 Apr 2012, 21:42

We may get a slot between "Hillbilly Handfishin" and "Man vs Wild". We're hoping Sly Stallone will agree to play one of the characters. It should be epic!

by **DeucesWild** » 01 May 2012, 13:11

More fame and fortune for 14ers. Check out summitpost.org now.... :shock:

3 Coloradoans have the FRONT PAGE: Brian C, Sarah Simon, and Matt Lemke. Congrats! =D>

Maybe Bill M. really does secretly own SP now??? :-k

Website · by **Matt Lemke** » 01 May 2012, 14:01

DeucesWild wrote:Maybe Bill M. really does secretly own SP now???

Oh I know for sure he does :twisted:

FWIW...Brian's TR is fantastic!

by **Jay521** » 01 May 2012, 15:33

anna wrote:
DeucesWild wrote:How is Jay521 always the first to comment on an anna TR? Sometimes before the report is even posted.

I can solve that mystery. Jay521 is actually my alter-ego. We are one and the same person. Or are we??? Cue the corny soap opera music ...

Actually, Anna is MY alter-ego.... :lol:

by **d_baker** » 04 May 2012, 07:26

DeucesWild wrote:More fame and fortune for 14ers. Check out summitpost.org now....

3 Coloradoans have the FRONT PAGE: Brian C, Sarah Simon, and Matt Lemke. Congrats!

Maybe Bill M. really does secretly own SP now???

Yours truly made the photo of the day, taken by the other Baker Boy, as well. I was wearing your favorite colored jacket (orange). But alas, it was only 'for a day.' But my ego feels better to let everyone know how fabulous the Baker Boys are.

^^^Pretend that's in pink font (for sarcasm).

by **DeucesWild** » 15 May 2012, 14:22

DeucesWild wrote:
-Will dozens be dismayed when they learn that Bill secretly runs 14erworld, summitpost, and owns the trademark to the word "fourteener"? He made a deal on a chairlift one day. Made them an offer they couldn't refuse.

-

I called it!

by **d_baker** » 24 May 2012, 08:39

And the plot thickens....
From 14erW...
"The forum has been permanently shut down due to our discovery of a Facebook plot spearheaded by *John Doe to copy and share the trip report database." [-X

Conspiracies, I say.

[*name omitted to protect the innocent before proven guilty]

Edit: Note to 14erW members that don't like 14ers. This is one of those frivolous posts on this site just for fun. I need entertainment.

by **KeithK** » 24 May 2012, 08:44

d_baker wrote:
Edit: Note to 14erW members that don't like 14ers.

So this is a note to yourself? :-"

by **d_baker** » 24 May 2012, 08:54

KeithK wrote:
d_baker wrote:
Edit: Note to 14erW members that don't like 14ers.

So this is a note to yourself?

14ers as in the .com (to use your phrase).
I like 14ers (the mountains), really, I do. Especially when viewed from 13ers.

by **d_baker** » 24 May 2012, 08:57

And Keith, in your avatar I see you're holding a crying baby. I'll assume this is your child. But why did you have to tell him/her (?) about the travesties found on this site at such an early age?

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