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Bee Stings kill Climber

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Re: Bee Stings kill Climber

Postby Scott P » Thu May 09, 2013 1:19 pm

Brazilian Wandering Spider Erection

“In the rare case an erection lasts longer than four hours, seek immediate medical attention.”

This warning flashes in your head as you wince in pain. You are currently experiencing an erection of phenomenal proportions; but there are no women around. The warnings from the Levitra and Cialis commercials flash in your head like a strobe light. But you don’t even use these pills, your boner works fine all by its self. You let out an unavoidable groan; your penis feels like a full diet coke bottle spiked with a handful of Mentos.

This is not a normal erection. Not one of those moderate morning woods that you can manipulate by standing on your toes and aiming down to release your morning pee. You can’t even periscope this thing and disguise it by pinning it to your stomach with the waist band of your pants. You begin to panic realizing you have a serious problem on…well, in your hands.

The room becomes blurry and you notice that you’re now sweating like a Hebrew slave. Momentarily distracting you from your excruciating erection you realize you’ve managed to sweat through your jeans in a matter of minutes. You hope it’s sweat….not blood. Ripping off your jeans you expose what looks like an overcooked Ballpark hotdog at the point just before it splits. The skin on your unprovoked boner is so taunt that you can see fissures where it is already beginning to tear. Just when you think things couldn’t get any worse, you projectile vomit into your own naked lap.

This horrible situation is not caused by a Viagra overdose; it’s caused by something much more terrifying. Phoneutria Nigriventer, the Brazilian Wandering Spider.


I was wondering if it was really true, but check it out:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/29/spider-venom-viagra-brazilian-wandering_n_1840381.html
I'm slow and fat. Unfortunately, those are my good qualities.

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Re: Bee Stings kill Climber

Postby MountainHiker » Thu May 09, 2013 2:06 pm

aboynamedmargrette wrote: :wft: :wft: :wft:

Brazilian Wandering Spider Erection

“In the rare case an erection lasts longer than four hours, seek immediate medical attention.”

This warning flashes in your head as you wince in pain. You are currently experiencing an erection of phenomenal proportions; but there are no women around. The warnings from the Levitra and Cialis commercials flash in your head like a strobe light. But you don’t even use these pills, your boner works fine all by its self. You let out an unavoidable groan; your penis feels like a full diet coke bottle spiked with a handful of Mentos.

This is not a normal erection. Not one of those moderate morning woods that you can manipulate by standing on your toes and aiming down to release your morning pee. You can’t even periscope this thing and disguise it by pinning it to your stomach with the waist band of your pants. You begin to panic realizing you have a serious problem on…well, in your hands.

The room becomes blurry and you notice that you’re now sweating like a Hebrew slave. Momentarily distracting you from your excruciating erection you realize you’ve managed to sweat through your jeans in a matter of minutes. You hope it’s sweat….not blood. Ripping off your jeans you expose what looks like an overcooked Ballpark hotdog at the point just before it splits. The skin on your unprovoked boner is so taunt that you can see fissures where it is already beginning to tear. Just when you think things couldn’t get any worse, you projectile vomit into your own naked lap.

This horrible situation is not caused by a Viagra overdose; it’s caused by something much more terrifying. Phoneutria Nigriventer, the Brazilian Wandering Spider.

So that puts a whole new meaning on getting a Brazilian! :shock:
Red, Rugged, and Rotten: The Elk Range - Borneman & Lampert

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Re: Bee Stings kill Climber

Postby ahrendse » Thu May 09, 2013 2:51 pm

Hiked all the way into the Chicago Basin a couple years ago after riding the train. Set up camp and took my boots off to find a black widow just chillin on the top of my foot. Not sure how I managed to go that far without being bit or without it getting squished.

Note to self: always make sure boots are empty!
`You might just as well say that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat what I see"!'

Re: Bee Stings kill Climber

Postby Steve Climber » Thu May 09, 2013 3:14 pm

ahrendse wrote:Hiked all the way into the Chicago Basin a couple years ago after riding the train. Set up camp and took my boots off to find a black widow just chillin on the top of my foot. Not sure how I managed to go that far without being bit or without it getting squished.

Note to self: always make sure boots are empty!


:shock: That's strange :shock:

Grew up in Reno/Tahoe area and spent lots of time in high deserts of N. NV...Black Widows are just the normal house spider out there. I escort all living pests outside including flies, mosquitoes, mice, etc...Unfortunately black widows do not get that courtesy. I've only ever seen a few here though...most sightings were inside my sprinkler boxes right near where you might put your finger in to lift cover up. Cheeky bastards!!!
Dave B wrote:And/or line thy helmet with tin foil and realize this is a freaking mountaineering website.


Steve Climber wrote:So that's your backpack, huh?

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Re: Bee Stings kill Climber

Postby apasquel » Thu May 09, 2013 3:42 pm

Oh yeah...I totally forgot about the worst animal you can run into in Texas. An overzealous property owner with a shotgun and a real effing disdain for climbers. Yeah baby!

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Re: Bee Stings kill Climber

Postby CorduroyCalves » Thu May 09, 2013 9:54 pm

aboynamedmargrette wrote:
ahrendse wrote:Hiked all the way into the Chicago Basin a couple years ago after riding the train. Set up camp and took my boots off to find a black widow just chillin on the top of my foot. Not sure how I managed to go that far without being bit or without it getting squished.

Note to self: always make sure boots are empty!


:shock: That's strange :shock:

Grew up in Reno/Tahoe area and spent lots of time in high deserts of N. NV...Black Widows are just the normal house spider out there. I escort all living pests outside including flies, mosquitoes, mice, etc...Unfortunately black widows do not get that courtesy. I've only ever seen a few here though...most sightings were inside my sprinkler boxes right near where you might put your finger in to lift cover up. Cheeky bastards!!!


Fortunately, I've yet to cross paths with a black widow. 'Course, now that I've said that, I'm sure I'll see several this summer! #-o
Life is too short to pay full retail for outdoor gear!

"God has cared for these trees, saved them from draught, disease, avalanches, and a thousand straining, leveling tempasts and floods; but he cannot save them from fools; only Uncle Sam can do that."--John Muir

Re: Bee Stings kill Climber

Postby Steve Climber » Fri May 10, 2013 8:55 am

CorduroyCalves wrote:Fortunately, I've yet to cross paths with a black widow. 'Course, now that I've said that, I'm sure I'll see several this summer! #-o


They're not too big a deal. Not aggressive at all and definitely not fast. They just look scary as hell. If you are an adult in decent health and don't have any allergies that complicate the bite, you mostly just get bad flu-like symptoms. Fever, muscle cramps, nasty headache...generally feel like crap for a couple days and the bite location is super tender for a while.
Dave B wrote:And/or line thy helmet with tin foil and realize this is a freaking mountaineering website.


Steve Climber wrote:So that's your backpack, huh?

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Re: Bee Stings kill Climber

Postby caverdude » Fri May 10, 2013 9:50 pm

As a Tucson native, I hate to say but the Africanized bees are here to stay in Southern AZ. All of the wild bees have been taken over by the Africanized bees and they are constantly looking for new homes to start a colony. Unfortunately, they are pretty smart and have learned that if a person jumps into water to get away from the angry bees, they will hover above the water and wait for the person to surface for air and then sting them. The only sure way to get away from them is to out run them (supposedly 0.5mile minimum).
I wouldn't worry about them too much in CO. There is no way they could survive the winter temperatures. I've found dead colonies while hiking to climbs in Cochise Stronghold. Just a few nights below freezing and they are dead.
Since everyone in CO hates weird critters...how about what I call land lobsters? Found this guy in my shower!

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Re: Bee Stings kill Climber

Postby slowhead » Sat May 11, 2013 9:59 am

As we hiked our last 14er last summer, #56 by the way we count them, El Diente, we were on the final ridge (from the Kilpacker side), about 500 yards from the summit when I was stung by a bee. While I've been stung many times in my life, I couldn't help but think, "Could this be the big one?", and that I was going to perish from some cosmic anaphylactic coincidence right before I finished all the 14ers. Fortunately, Hillhag was with me (as she has been for every 14er) and she did the proper wound sucking. Yes, I know it's, like, Outdoor Myth #1 that you can suck the poison out, but it seemed like a good excuse to me to have her pressing her lips on my skin. OK, it was my upper arm. As previously documented, we finished El Diente with a smile. :-D

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Re: Bee Stings kill Climber

Postby boudreaux » Sat May 11, 2013 11:44 am

About 10 years ago on the Kokopelli Trail while taking a break, a swarm of bees passed over us. Suddenly you hear this buzzing sound getting louder and louder. I tell my friend not to move and just sit still and they will pass over us. A terrifying 30 seconds goes by without being stung and the bees disappear down along the Colorado River. You check your shorts first before moving on, that was a crazy experience I don't want to repeat!

Last year while hiking around Castle Rock, one of the bee hives on the southside cliffs swarmed. A huge cloud of angry bees hovered about a 100 feet above me as I went down that dirt ramp east. One little sucker came down and dive bombed me, getting me on the neck. I went running down the hill and down the trail to the otherside, swatting the bees with my hat. I only got stung that one time, and I never heard any buzzing, but you instinctively start swatting and running for your life. Next time around the bees had calmed down considerably, but it made me wonder if they were African for a minute!

Hey BooBoo, you seen my Bee Mask laying around here?
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Re: Bee Stings kill Climber

Postby CorduroyCalves » Sat May 11, 2013 10:00 pm

aboynamedmargrette wrote:
CorduroyCalves wrote:Fortunately, I've yet to cross paths with a black widow. 'Course, now that I've said that, I'm sure I'll see several this summer! #-o


They're not too big a deal. Not aggressive at all and definitely not fast. They just look scary as hell. If you are an adult in decent health and don't have any allergies that complicate the bite, you mostly just get bad flu-like symptoms. Fever, muscle cramps, nasty headache...generally feel like crap for a couple days and the bite location is super tender for a while.


Thanks for the info. For some reason I thought a bite was a lot more serious.
Life is too short to pay full retail for outdoor gear!

"God has cared for these trees, saved them from draught, disease, avalanches, and a thousand straining, leveling tempasts and floods; but he cannot save them from fools; only Uncle Sam can do that."--John Muir

Re: Bee Stings kill Climber

Postby Steve Climber » Sat May 11, 2013 10:25 pm

Not to say you shouldn't avoid them :) just sharing my own experience with a bite and everything I read about them after it happened.

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